I'm a hoarder

I just realized the sad truth... I am a...a... a hoarder!! Of food only though. And maybe flip-flops. Mainly food. We got an e-mail sent out to our office that there were leftover sandwiches in the break room. Initially I didn't get any because I had a yummy yummy salad from Subway, but after the fifth wilted, disgusting, brown piece of lettuce was dug out of the salad, it didn't look so yummy anymore (NOT impressed Subway, not impressed at all!!). So I went down to see what sandwiches were left. There were only three, two that looked like they were probably chicken salad and one that was probably tuna salad. At first I passed on the sandwiches and just went for the amazing-looking pasta salad (sooo good, but I feel bad for whoever has to talk to me for the rest of the day...they did NOT go light on the garlic!), but then after someone came in and declared the chicken salad to be amazing I snatched one up. So I'm now sitting at my desk with a 1/4 eatten salad, pasta salad (and not a tiny helping either), and half of a (possibly) chicken salad sandwich. Why? Why in the world would I ever need this much food? Especially now that my summer appetite is in full swing (when it reaches 95 degrees it's just too hot to eat! I seldom get hungry in this weather and when I finally do, I could eat an almond and be satisfied). I'll tell you why - I'm a hoarder. I don't know if it's some sort of basic instinctual thing coming out in me or if I'm just selfish. Maybe it's a product of being an only child and never having to share (although I kinda doubt this one...). Or maybe, I'm just weird.

I've noticed this before in the past though. I was even like this even in high school! Going back to the days sitting in Renatos with my friends... when someone asked to have a cheese-fry I would always say yes, then glare the crap outta them when they picked up one that wasn't minimally covered with cheese. It's not like I need this food or even want it all! But here it is sitting on my desk. Don't I know that there are kids in India and Africa STARVING?!?! Hunger is even an issue in this country (is it not an issue anywhere??) but I'm here...being wasteful. Shame on me. I miss the days where I could just walk out the doors of the GSU and head down to the area in front of the Theology building and give my left over food to whichever bum was closest to the street. At least then I could justify ordering a large when I knew I probably wouldn't be able to finish a small.

I'm long past the days of eating out of guilt. I no longer surround myself with, or even associate with, people who will call me anorexic and make me feel bad for not finishing a meal that could clearly feed two people. And I have come to terms with the fact that, yes, Andrew is bigger than me, and therefore should eat more. So why do I still pile on the helpings?!?! Anyone have any insight??

I just gave the sandwich to my co-worker who I think is actually a garbage disposal in disguise. If I'm a hoarder, he's a million times worse! Although better at the same time... he actually eats what he hoardes! So there... I can justify my hoarding for today!!! I got the sandwich so I could give it to him, so he could save the food he brought for lunch and give it to his kids!! See, I knew I had a reason to do it! Oh, and I picked out all the good looking veggies and meat from the salad, but threw-out most of the lettuce. I'm just not into half-decomposed lettuce... call me crazy. So that wasn't a complete bust either!

Now I feel better about myself and can continue on with my day :-)

I don't care anymore!!!!!!

Wooooo!!!!!!! At least I don't think I do.... right now I definitely don't!

Let me fill you all in a bit... For whatever reason I seem to be incredibly blessed, and somewhat cursed in the friends department. My BEST friends are amazing! They fly and drive all over the country (continent I should say) to see me and spend time with me. They are amazing. Even the ones that I don't see for a while, whenever we do meet up it's like no time has passed at all and everything is wonderful. I am so lucky to have these people in my life and I hope that I'm being the type of friend that deserves them.

The others... well... I don't even know that I would call them friends anymore. Sure we're "friends" on facebook... but I haven't talked to some of these "friends" in many, many months. And it's not like I haven't tried. I've tried texting, e-mailing, calling, you name it... no response. For months. Until they need something. Then it's "heeeey, we haven't talked in soooo long!! I miss you sooooooo much!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!" Oh really? Huh. That's odd... because when I miss someone, I pick up the phone and call them. Weird. I don't deserve that. No one does. This scenario has been going on for... years... with one particular person. Poor Andrew has heard me say over and over again "I'm DONE with ___" and then a month later I miss her and call her. It used to hurt a lot when that person would come to the same city as me, be four blocks away, and not tell me until she was leaving. But after like the fifth time of that it started to be more of an annoyance than a pain. I do have to give this person props though. She was there for me and very encouraging during a very...trying... time in my life about a yeah and a half ago. But as I started to come to terms with that time, she started backing off again. I have not talked to this person since sometime in November. I don't know when I will talk to her again. Unless something tragic happens, I will not be the one who initiates contact. I'm actually pretty proud of this. It's so hard of me to let go of people that I care about. I just really don't like doing it.

I wish I could say that this is the only person in my life like that. While not to that degree, she's not the only one. I don't understand how people can be like that. But we're all unique so I can't understand every thing everyone does.

Back to the title of this post. Today I looked at some people's facebook profiles and that used to bother me. I would see people post on their walls things like "it was sooo good catching up last night, let's chat again soon" and get upset by that. It upset me to see that while people professed to care about me, and miss me, and wanted to catch up, they just didn't have time for me...but they did for others. When I looked at the four people's profiles that evoked these feelings the most, I felt nothing. Really, nothing. And it was AWESOME!!! Don't get me wrong, I wish nothing but the best for these people... I just don't care about what they mean to my life. And my oh my what a sweet feeling not caring can be!!

YAAAAAAAYY!!!! Congrats!!!!

My friend just surprised me with a picture of an ultrasound sent to my e-mail!!! I'm sooo excited for her!!!!!! She's about 9 weeks pregnant, and due in February!! I just did a little happy dance at my desk!! I can't really say much to anyone about it because, 1) she hasn't told many people and 2) doesn't want to tell many people until a little later.

But I just wanted to say I'm super duper excited!!!!! And I'm going to have to make another trip to see another baby soon!!!!! YAAAAAAAY!!!

F/U on Dinners

Last night I was preparing my lunches for the week, I want to start taking salads because I feel like in the past couple weeks my eating habits have been odd. I was put on an antibiotic to get rid of this lame-ass respiratory infection, that if taken on an empty stomach could give you some serious pains. I also have to take this pill 12 hours apart... so I first took it at 1pm.... then waited up as long as possible and took the other one right before bed. I've been slowly adjusting the time I take the pill, but it's always NOT at meal time. Which means eating right before bed, or when I'm not hungry. So I feel a little rounder than normal. Anyways, I wanted to bring salads to lunch this week, so I bought a head of lettuce and last night was shredding it into small pieces and putting it into sections to bring to work. Andrew comes out into the kitchen and was sooo excited to see the iceberg lettuce. It was all he wanted to eat! So I mentioned that I was planning on making some tuna salad to take to work with it and he almost started jumping up and down like a school girl! Ok, he didn't really, but he was really excited. So I whipped up some tuna salad, and that's what we had for dinner. Iceberg lettuce and tuna salad. Easiest dinner I've ever made!!!

Although now I have no lunch...

Dinners

This weekend DH (Dear(est) Husband) and I were bickering about something... I don't remember what it was, but somehow we started talking about dishes. DH mentioned that he didn't like having all the dishes that always seem to spring up when I make dinner. I always seem to use some sort of pot/pan/big bowl that can't be put into the dishwasher and are often difficult to wash in our sink. Which brings me to another point. I HATE our sink!!! Hate hate HATE it!! It's white porcelain (who thought that would be a good idea?!?) and it's a double sink. Sounds nice, but it's actually terrible. While it's fine for washing silverware, or cups, or small dishes... I can't even fit a casserole dish in one side of it! I have to wash my cutting boards at an angle, which inevitably means water will get all over my clothing and the floor. It seriously is the WOAT (Worst Of All Time). Next house we get must have 1 bowl and if it has a double sink, that bad boy's getting torn out before we even move in!

Back to what I was originally saying... Andrew doesn't like that we always have a ton of dishes to do every night and said he'd actually be fine with pb&j for dinners. Soooo yesterday I bought bread, tuna, and salad stuff. Guess what we're having this week for dinners?!?! Sandwiches and salads!!!

We'll see how long I can last on that diet!

Nolan Michael Dowaliby - Always in our hearts

Today is the memorial service for Nolan Michael Dowaliby. He was born at just 26 weeks on June 8th. He fought hard and strong for three days, but sadly lost the fight on June 11th. His mom Ashley has asked us to celebrate his life instead of mourn his death. That little boy really touched more people than he or his family could ever know! I've shared his story with friends and family and I know I'm not the only one! Today, all of Nolan's Nestie Aunties all over the country are celebrating his life by wearing red and navy blue, because those were his favorite colors. If you would like to read about Nolan's story, visit Ashley's blog. I must warn you though, Ashley speaks from the heart and you can really feel your heart breaking right along with hers. I have been following the story for a little while now and I've felt happy with every bit of good news she received, sad by the bad news, and of course devastated by the end of his short life. I highly recommend everyone read it.

I would like to ask that if you read this, please say a prayer for the Dowaliby family. No parents should ever have to go through what they are doing today.

Nolan will always be in our hearts. His three days on this earth were spectacular. He brought so much happiness to his mom and dad and to everyone who knew of him. And for that, today we should celebrate!!!

Cooking Success!! Kinda..

At our Philly AHR (At Home Reception for you non-nesties) I had the lovely pleasure of meeting Ada, a friend of my mom. She has been a friend of my step-dad's family for years, but I only got to meet her just now. She's awesome! And soo sweet!! She bought Andrew and I How to Cook Everything as a wedding present (we hadn't even met and she got us a wedding present!! How nice is that?!?), and I must say, the book is amazing. It's HUGE and really has some great recipes in it! Last night I tried Arepas and mashed cauliflower.

Arepas are a South American cuisine that are quite simple and easy(ish) to make. Anderw and I were first introduced to them by our friend Maria, who is a native of Venezuela, at an amazing South American restaurant near us. I was hooked from the first bite!! It combines two of my favorite things...corn and CHEESE!! When I saw this recipe in the book I HAD to try it! The ingredients are very basic, I didn't have to go out to get anything! It's pretty much corn meal, corn, flour, salt and pepper, milk, an egg, and cheese. CHEESE! You mix all the ingredients together and fry them up. The first arepas we had were slightly different than the ones I made last night, but from what Maria tells me, these are more traditional than the restaurant version.

The reason I say that my attempt was *kinda* a success is because while I mixed all the ingredients together like a champ, the cooking threw me off a bit... The recipe says to heat up the oil to about 350 degrees over medium-high heat. Apparently my oil was way more than 350 because the last few rounds of the arepas were slightly burned... ok slightly charred... but only on the outside! The insides were still quite tastey! So yes, I am still learning! I didn't realize oil could be too hot really.

On to the mashed cauliflower. Another incredibly simple recipe that was a success! Kinda... The recipe consists of boiling 1 large head of cauliflower (I used frozen), mixing milk, butter, cheese and salt and pepper in a large pot on medium-low heat, then adding the cauliflower and mashing it. Well apparently the recipe is supposed to be the main course for like 10 people! I added the suggested amount of milk and cheese to the cauliflower and WOW was it soupy! I think I used the right amount of cauliflower for just Andrew and myself, so next time I think I will cut the milk in half, and not use quite as much cheese. I'll still use more than is probably healthy... Mashed cauliflower is supposed to mimic mashed potatoes in consistency (it's a low-carb alternative, although with the amount of cheese they said to use...I'm not so sure about that!). Well my version mimiced... well...soup! A very tastey cauliflower-cheese soup!

I would definitely make both of these again. I'm becoming more and more obsessed with South American cuisine (I haven't tried anything that I haven't loved yet!), however most restaurants specializing in this type of food are somewhat pricey!

Fail Blog

I have been laughing over this blog for the the past.... way too long! How did I not know about this before?!?! There is some seriously funny sh!t on this blog. We all know how much I love watching people fall down (as long as they don't get hurt of course) and there is noooo shortage of clumsy people here! Go check it out!

I'll be no one else

One of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten regarding dealing with people was from Seventeen magazine (I was in like 8th grade, give me a break!) The article was talking about what to do when you're really mad at your best friend, but don't want to say anything mean or hurtful to them. The author suggested that you write down in a letter what you would say to them if there were no negative repercussions to your words, but don't send it to them. I tried it a few weeks after reading the article and wow, did it work! It felt like such a release to get everything down on paper and out of my head! So I think that's partially what this blog will be. In it's entirety, it's going to be more or less a dumping ground for random thoughts, pictures, oh and my friend gave me the idea of putting recipes up...I just got an AWESOME new cookbook and I'm trying out tons of new recipes! Oh and also, since the vast majority of my close friends unfortunately do not live within driving distance, this might be a good way to keep my friends updated on what's happening in Nicole-land ;-) Soooooooo, without (much) further ado, here's my very first attempt to join the world of blogging!!!